I had written about 50% of a post about my birthday, but after proofreading it, I decided it was too boring and downright depressing to publish. Instead, I’m going to share about the best year of my life, Year 27, and what I hope for in this upcoming Year 28. I love having my birthday just a week after the start of the new year, because everything feels like starting over with a clean slate and renewed mindset. And even though the end of 2017 brought me to my knees, it was filled with a multitude of great things.

 

 

 

 

 

In June, Logan finished up kindergarten, his first year of “real” school. I was so worried about him adjusting to a new school just months after moving to a new city, but he ended up having a wonderful year. He made so many friends, succeeded academically, and quickly became acclimated to his new public school environment. Even though she was super young and new to teaching, his kindergarten teacher was loving, approachable, and organized. She also watched over Logan like a hawk when it came to his food allergies. Aside from a slight scare with a cafeteria mix-up during a field trip, I never had to worry about Logan accidentally ingesting peanuts in any form. His teacher made his class a strict no-nut room, even though Logan is only allergic to peanuts. She reminded the parents about this rule several times throughout the year and also had a poster outside the classroom as a reminder. During the year, Logan learned how to do formal homework assignments and made exponential progress in his reading, writing, and math skills. He loved attending the after school care program and often begged me to let him stay longer at school. He also participated in an after-school soccer class (which mostly involved him picking flowers and laying on the ground) and won an award for an art project he did for the local police station. He has had a great experience so far in first grade even though his friends from last year all got funneled into different classes. In stark contrast to last year, he has a very experienced teacher this year who makes wrangling rambunctious first graders look like old news. She obviously enjoys having Logan in her class and has reached out to me personally during his absences. She has also cheered us on in our family’s exciting fall adventures.

 

In July, I had the privilege of marrying my best friend. Fate brought us together (sponsored by Match.com) and our relationship blossomed very quickly. We got engaged after 6 months and married the following year. Although I’ve only lived a few years of life with him, I feel like I’ve known my husband forever. Our families are very similar, we were raised with similar values, and our life goals match entirely. Like two pieces of a puzzle, our lives have meshed together perfectly and easily, despite the fact that I brought an added challenge to the relationship in that I’m a mom. We have endured heart-wrenching trials together and come out stronger than we were before. Our wedding was a celebration of all that we have in each other. A lot of it was a blur because I was a giant ball of nerves and about to pass out because I starved myself for months so I could look good in my dress, but there are moments I will never forget: Donnie reading special vows to Logan, my dress malfunction that ended in Logan barging in on the father-daughter dance, eating the most amazing cake in the world (or maybe it just tasted that way because I hadn’t eaten in forever), being surrounded by my best friends, getting eaten alive by mosquitoes for the sake of some truly amazing photos, and spending the entire evening in a state of complete bliss knowing I was going to spend the rest of my life with the person that makes me the happiest I’d ever been.

 

As if the extravagant wedding wasn’t enough, the very next morning we embarked on the honeymoon of our dreams. Due to the kindness and generosity of our families, we were able to spend two weeks in two different timeshares on Maui. My only experience with the Hawaiian islands is Oahu, which is a wonderful tourist spot and great introduction to island culture, but nothing beats Maui. The island’s beauty is indescribable. We drove around the whole island, ate at amazing restaurants, swam for hours in the pool and the ocean, and enjoyed just being with each other for two whole weeks. Our wanderings included seeing sea turtles, rain forests, a winery, a plantation, a goat farm, a vodka distillery, a luau right at the ocean at sunset, spa treatments, snorkeling, walking along the beach, pretending to shop in stores we definitely can’t afford, watching the fireworks on the Fourth of July, and enjoying special treatment at restaurants because we were on our honeymoon. Thanks to my post-wedding adrenaline rush and overall elation at having the privilege of being gifted such an amazing vacation, I think we more or less conquered everything there is to do on Maui during those two weeks (except relaxing, which is so overrated, unless of course you talk to my poor husband), but the little wedding gift we bought for ourselves, a timeshare, will most likely bring us back to the island in the near future.

 

 

 

Just a few months later, we discovered that our family would be growing! Our sweet little guy will be here in May and I wish I could say this pregnancy is flying by, but that would be the world’s biggest lie. I was able to enjoy pregnancy bliss from weeks 4 (when we found out) to week 7, and then things quickly slid downhill until I was finally diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. The sickness has slowly progressed since October, leaving me unable to work and now unable to leave the house on my own because I need IV fluids running constantly through my PICC line that is also running a Zofran pump, which sends anti-nausea medicine directly into my bloodstream at a constant flow. Since October, I’ve visited urgent care around 13 times, visited the ER 5 times, been admitted to the hospital twice, and have dropped about 26 pounds from my highest pregnancy weight. I miss the days where I could go to work, cook for my family, help clean the house, pick up Logan from school, and heck, even take a shower, but those things are privileges I won’t be able to enjoy until this sickness wears off. Despite this, our little boy is developing perfectly on schedule and is now 1lb 4oz and has special skills like swallowing amniotic fluid and punching me in the bladder in the middle of the night so I can’t sleep. He’s amazing.

 

A little over a month after discovering the pregnancy, we were able to expand the Torrez clan by one more as we finalized Logan’s adoption. Logan got to go to court, meet a judge, and even sign the adoption paperwork. We changed his last name so we all match and threw a big party for him in November. We basically invited everyone we know and had a great celebration that included tacos, a bounce house, and enough cake to feed a small army. Logan loves his daddy more than anything and is so excited about his new last name.

 

As for Year 28, I really don’t have a huge list of what I want to accomplish. I had written down a whole list of my New Year’s Resolutions and then erased them and just wrote down “stay alive.” I mean that in a much deeper sense than just to stay physically breathing, of course, although the current state of health I’m in does scare me from time to time. But truly, I want to stay alive, feeling like I belong in my own skin and loving who I am and who I’m becoming. Despite how depressing it is to go through a pregnancy that isolates you from almost every normal relationship in your life, I don’t want to forget my passions and dreams for what I want out of this life. I want to be a writer. I want to read for fun. I want to be present in Logan’s life. I want to take classes and pursue my associate’s degree in early childhood education. I want to someday resume the friendships I had and also make new friends. I want to constantly be on the path of becoming a better wife, mom, daughter, employee, sister, and friend. I want to give this new little life growing inside me the best possible start I can give him and bring him into a world filled with love and peace. I don’t think any year of my life could possibly be better than the last year, especially with the fear of turning 30 lurking too closely in the distance, but I think this year will be one that starts in weakness and ends in triumph. Here’s to 28, friends.