30 weeks. Where have the last 30 weeks gone? I wish I could say that they’ve flown by, but in reality, the days and hours have passed as quickly as paint dries and grass grows. Over the last 30 weeks, I have spent hours staring at the walls of my living room, the ceiling of my bedroom, and the edges of the toilet bowl in the bathroom. The highlight of my past week was when my amazing husband paid for me to go to Supercuts and get my hair washed and blow dried. It’s the little things you take for granted.
As this pregnancy reaches the final stretch, I want to document even more closely and reflect on my experiences with hyperemesis gravidarum, both to spread awareness and so I can come back and read this postpartum if I ever feel that “baby fever” creeping in again.
At 29 weeks, my 3 month journey with a PICC line came to an abrupt halt when I developed a rash, fever, soreness, chills, and redness at the insertion site, all signs of an infection that could range from mild (a surface infection easily treatable with antibiotics) to deadly (sepsis or anything else that spreads into the bloodstream). After surviving a horrible 5 hours in the ER being treated by doctors who literally had no experience with PICC lines, only to have them tell me there was no PICC nurse on call in the entire hospital that evening, they admitted me to the Labor and Delivery floor for overnight monitoring while I waited for the test results to come back. The first rounds of blood tests came back normal, which was a good sign. However, at 3 in the morning, I was woken up by a doctor who told me that my OB wanted to err on the side of caution and remove the PICC line. By that point, I was too groggy and weak to fight their decision, and the PICC was removed quickly and painlessly. The hospital kept me for another day to monitor me on antibiotics and pump me with bags of fluids before letting me go home. Thankfully, the infection was a minor one, and I will remain on antibiotics for 2 weeks to make sure it clears up completely.
Unfortunately, in removing my beloved PICC line, they took away my lifeline for this pregnancy. I had been running 1-2 liters of IV fluids a day through one lumen and also running my anti-nausea medicine, Zofran, through the second lumen. Aside from a few trips to the ER for small clots in the line, the PICC never gave me any issues and saved my poor veins from being annihilated by constant IV placements. The OB’s in my practice decided placing a new PICC is far too risky at this point, so I’ve been forced to use other options to treat my hyperemesis.
I can still get IV fluids at home through the placement of peripheral IV’s (in my hand or wrists, the only place my nurse can actually see useful veins), which are incredibly painful because my veins are in such terrible shape that it takes 3-4 stab attempts to find a vein that works, and often, this vein gets infiltrated within 24-48 hours (the first one blew within 10 minutes of my nurse leaving my house), which means fluid is being pumped into my body outside of a vein, causing swelling and excruciating burning pain until the IV is removed. Not to mention, apparently I am responsible for removing the bad IV’s, which I’ve had to do twice now and it is terrifying.
I can still use my Zofran pump, but now it runs subcutaneously, which means the medicine is inserted under the skin. This new routine also involves needles, and although they are tiny, I’ve found that I’m one of those unfortunate women who are very sensitive to the medicine. My stomach is now covered in extremely sore, circular welts that hurt so badly I can hardly walk or bend over. This sensitivity means that unlike a normal person, who can use one site to run the medicine for 2-3 days, I have to change the site multiple times every day (and again, more needles). I’ve lost count of how many times I have vomited from the fear, anxiety, and pain alone from this process.
Many of my doctors are still incredulous that I have not “turned the corner” by now, and I share in their frustration. In a pregnancy that has isolated me from friends, family, and my job, I now feel the pain of being disconnected from my baby, as my stomach is in so much pain that I can’t even touch it without wincing. I’m hopeful that it will just take a week or so of getting used to using the subcutaneous pump (as I am still not tolerating oral medicines well at this point) and that my veins will strengthen enough for the peripheral IV’s to work or I will be able to stay hydrated on my own for the first time since December. I have a growth ultrasound scheduled for today to check whether this little boy is growing on track, and I look forward to the relief that always follows when I’m able to see his little face and body moving around on the screen.
Despite how I’m feeling, I would go through all of this and more as long as he is a happy and healthy baby.
