Let’s be real – not everyone’s kid eats great. My older son was a terrible eater. He survived on pizza, chicken nuggets, and cheese sandwiches for much of preschool. He starved himself instead of eating the school-provided meals. He refused real vegetables but loved those baby food pouches. He hated anything with spice and thrived on bland foods like plain rice cakes and crackers. As hard as I tried, he didn’t seem to outgrow the picky eater phase.

When Logan was a toddler, a lot of my friends bragged about how their kids just loved broccoli, would chomp on whatever they ate at meals, and never complained about new foods. I heard a lot of “Just force him to eat what you eat, or he’ll go to bed hungry. He’ll learn eventually.” I also heard a lot of “Model good food habits for him. Eat healthy food, and he’ll want to eat healthy food too!” I also tried hiding vegetables in baked goods and pasta sauces, tried different textures, and read countless articles and blogs on “fixing” my picky eater. I spent a lot of time worrying about his growth, health, and nutrition. Turns out, there was nothing to fix, and he just needed a lot of patience and maturity in order to embrace a more balanced way of eating!

Do you struggle with a picky eater? Here are my top 5 troubleshooting tips – but please, be patient with your child. Every kid is unique!

1. Be consistent and firm in exposing the child to new foods.

I’ve been implementing this strategy for a long time, but I recently came across a blog that described this method perfectly: the “love it, like it, learning it” plate. At each meal, you serve some foods you know your child loves. You include some foods they don’t gobble up, but they don’t reject either. And lastly, you include some foods that you know will be a challenge for your child. All you need to do is constantly expose your child to new foods. And trust me, some kids move in baby steps. Even having the child pick up, touch, and play with a new food is a giant success! Eventually, they will be curious enough to taste the food, but that shouldn’t be the first and only goal. Teach your child the names of new foods, gently encourage him to try it, and talk a lot about the new foods (ask them about color, taste, texture, temperature, etc).

2. Set up a rewards system.

Anyone that knows me knows I’m not above flat-out, old-fashioned bribery. A little goes a long way. With Logan, I found some rewards charts and stickers from the Dollar Store and taped one to the refrigerator where he could see it on a daily basis. For each new food he tasted, he got to put one sticker on the chart. When he filled up the chart, he earned a reward (usually a toy, or a special outing). It worked wonders. It still does, even at age seven. It’s that simple!

3. Do not – I repeat, DO NOT – pressure or force feed your child. Ever.

The worst thing I did was force Logan to try new things, force him to clean his plate, or force him to chew and swallow multiple bites of foods I knew he didn’t like. The only thing that method does is create an environment of anxiety and fear around food. This method does not work for picky eaters. The most terrible thing you can do is have your child equate food with stress, as this only sets him up for a lifetime of problems around food.

With constant (and I mean CONSTANT) exposure to new foods, gentle guidance toward healthy eating, and lots of patience, Logan eventually became a wonderful eater. However, he will only eat new foods if it is done in a way that removes pressure and anger from the situation. Yes, he was not a great eater as a young toddler and during his preschool years. He ate an overall balanced diet, but not every day. He was healthy physically, but he had a lot of room for improvement.

Once I made it my goal to have him eat a balanced diet in the near future and stopped obsessing over every calorie he ingested every day, I was able to stay calm and happy during meal times. The pressure was lifted. The stress-free environment is what ultimately allowed him the space to evolve into a healthy eater.

4. Make food a learning experience, not just eating.

The easiest way to have your child learn about and appreciate a variety of foods is to allow him to experience the food using all of his senses. Food is an enriching sensory experience for all of us, even as adults. Food is not just about eating, it’s about socializing, celebrating, and exploring. Here are some questions you can ask your child to encourage a full sensory experience of food.

• What does it smell like?
• What does it feel like? Smooth, squishy, hard, bumpy?
• Do you think it is sweet, spicy, sour, or bland?
• Did we have to cook this food, or can we eat it raw?
• Does it remind you of other foods?
• Do you have any friends that eat this food at school?
• Describe how this food looks. Is it messy? Colorful? Fancy?

5. Make food fun.

I’ll say it again – for picky eaters, food does not just have to be about eating. Food can be fun and exciting, too! Let kids play with their food to enrich their experience of it. Cut fruit or sandwiches into cute little shapes for toddlers and preschoolers. Teach older children little pieces of advice about nutrition, health, and wellness. Get some books about food and picky eating (Green Eggs and Ham was truly inspirational for Logan). Eat as a family, at the dinner table, with the television off.

Two things really helped make food fun for Logan:

• Going to farmers markets: This exposed him to a wide variety of foods. Many vendors have food samples out, and he was usually willing to try almost anything. Seeing and experiencing food outside of a boring grocery store was a fun experience for him and he still loves going with me to farmers markets!
• Including Logan in the kitchen: This enabled Logan to be a part of the cooking process. Even very young children can wash foods and learn to cut produce with dull, plastic, kids knives. Young school-aged children can stir, mix, and pour. Older children can measure and set timers. Logan enjoys cooking and helping in the food preparation process! Whenever he helps, he appreciates the meal that much more.

I hope these tips help you with your picky eater! Do your kids have any issues with eating? How do you help your kids make healthy choices? Comment below!